Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Chasing Dreams

Picture from the summer of 2003

When I was 19 I spent my summer holidays roadtripping through California. It was the year before graduating High School and it was one of the most amazing summers. For years I had had the dream of traveling there and it was fulfilled in its own timing.
And that is how I have always been. I had a dream and went about it and it happened. But I feel something got lost along the way of graduating university, working a full time job, sort of having a routine in life. I found myself struggling to even put a dream into words. It was all very vague and not very me. I used to be the one telling everybody how important it is to dream and to chase them, trusting that God will fulfill them.
Yet my dreams over the last two years have somewhat been obsolete and unspoken of. This is not to say I didn't dream at all or I didn't accomplish anything. I do a lot of things, I live a great and amazing life but maybe I got lost a little in the hear and now forgetting to look into the future and make anything concrete.
I thought about this a lot this last weekend in London and how different it is to dream now, how much more courage it needs to step out and just go for it. It takes boldness to just take a step forward into the unknown, into doing what you actually want to be doing.
I want to be that kind of a woman. A woman who is not afraid to chase her dreams and make them reality. I believe God has a lot in store for me and by taking one step at a time and letting these dreams become reality and stepping out in faith and couarge I believe He is going to accomplish a lot through me. I want to be the visible image of an invisible Jesus here on earth! I don't want to regret anything.
So here I am, Lord! Use me, form me and let my dreams become reality.



Thursday, July 21, 2011

Thursday Tunes

Melina is throwing me a birthday week this week and gave me the Civil Wars album as a present yesterday. I couldn't be more excited because as you know I completely fell in love with them!
So I am sharing a song they covered absolutely beautiful.

And since it is birthday week I want you to be reminded of what we did last year and how we together were able to reach out and restore a woman's face! I still feel honored and blessed by all who stepped in to make a difference.

This year I'll be celebrating my birthday in London-Town as I'm heading there for the Hillsong Europe Conference!

Until soon!



PS: Listen to the whole Civil Wars album in my Current Soundtrack

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Stay in the Light

A couple of years ago the dance I am about to post would have deeply touched me just like Star Wars Episode 3 did (no kidding!) as I found myself in that place. In a relationship where the other person is in a dark place and you try everything to help that person come back into the light. But you fail and you are torn and shattered and become a mere shell of yourself.
But because of the love of Christ and His strength in me I was able to make a choice. The choice to walk away from that relationship in order to become myself again. I did and it took a while for me to heal, to become whole again and today I find myself stronger than before. More in the Light than ever before and I love my life!

Now when when watching this video I think of so many people who make the same mistake I did and I hope and pray that they would choose to stay in the light even if it means stepping away from something that holds them in darkness. I am not saying it is easy or not painful because it hurts cutting things away. It hurts giving up a love. Yet coming into the Light, holding on to a relationship with Jesus gives you all the provision you need. And there is healing and eventually the love you felt will die and the pain you felt will no longer be there and you will find yourself helping others who are going through what you've been through because God uses your story.

Much love. xoxo


Thursday, July 14, 2011


The wedding was amazing and right. Pure, holy, beautiful! My sister looked stunning and it was so very special. I am sure there will be pictures coming up here at some point but I actually didn't take a single picture with my camera because I was running around the whole time, organizing, thinking, planning.
To be honest after the wedding I was so tired and didn't feel like doing anything. You don't realize it before how much energy you actually put into planning this special day for your sister. Oh but was it worth every second of it! It was so worth everything because as we were up at the castle and soaked in the atmosphere there was something special. And this special wasn't because we planned so amazingly or because everything looked amazing and people were merry. No, the special atmosphere came from my sister and Thimmo who started their life together as a married couple that day. They made a covenant that day. An eternal covenant. This is what could be felt. The holiness of that very moment. Of these two people becoming one before God. All I did in the planning process was creating a beautiful and tangible framework in which the covenant making and the intangible moments and feelings and atmosphere could happen.

But without further ado I want to share this video I found today which just watching it makes me relax. It also makes me realize who much I actually miss the ocean and the waves. There is no better therapy or way of relaxing than being at the ocean watching the waves.

PURE BRONTE from Marcus O'Brien on Vimeo.

Enjoy the rest of you week!



Friday, July 8, 2011

Leaving the Nest

Tomorrow my little sister is getting married. I couldn't be more excited for her! She has found the One. She's marrying her best friend.
In all the preparations and wedding planning sometimes I just didn't really have the time to realize that my little sister is really leaving the nest and starting her own little family. And then there are these moments when it just comes over me and I well up with tears. For me it also means letting go. Letting my little sister go. I know I will always be the older sister and my heart will always be to protect her, but she has Thimmo now. And I know that he will protect her and be there for her for the rest of her life.

I love you Christina! You are my sister and my best friend!

Have a wonderful weekend everybody. I will be off celebrating!



* My sister and me - picture taken my dad which perfectly captures our sisterhood

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

To whom it may concern

I officially declare this week "Love Week". My little sister is getting married on Saturday so love is naturally in the air. Celebrations are officially starting tonight with his and her bachelorette party. Just love how it brings us friends together!
This past weekend I started listening to The Civil Wars more and I fell in love with them. Their lyrics are beautiful and poetic and the sound of their music just makes you daydreaming away.

Here's a song which really touched me so I thought I'd share the lyrics with you. Also you can listen to them in my current soundtrack.

Why are you so far from me?
In my arms is where you ought to be
How long will you make me wait?
I don't know how much more I can take
I missed you
But I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
How I do
Slowly counting down the days
Till I finally know your name
Ooo the way your hand feels round my waist
The way you laugh
The way your kisses taste
I missed you
But I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
How I do, How I do
I've missed you
But I haven't met you
Oh I missed you
I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
Oh how I want to
Dear whoever you might be
I'm still waiting patiently.

Much love. xoxo


Monday, July 4, 2011

I've got you.

This made me cry.
It spoke to my heart.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend!



Friday, July 1, 2011


I grew up in a family full of love. Full of grace and with a passion to help people and show them the love of Christ. We have always had a home open to people and everybody who stepped in was able to feel home and welcomed. There were times when we didn't have much financially but it didn't matter because we always knew God was our provider and my parents were just super creative with how we spent our time together as a family.
Going to church was an obligation and non-negotiable in my family and I gave my life to Christ in a very early stage of my life. My parents always allowed my sister and me to be the way we are. They believed in us and trusted God that they'd raise us in a way that we learn to listen to the Holy Spirit.
Living their life the way they did and raising us the way they did they set an excellent example of following Christ, family values and marriage.

But over the years as I grew older and where I am now things become so normal. You have heard things so many time and there is a certain standard in life on how to do things. It's easy to lose a little of that passion and that first faith. But of course that is not what I want. My heart is to always grow and change and get closer to the Lord.
I do realize though that sometimes life is just sort of settling down becoming normal but I have never liked normal.

The other week I watched two movies in a row which touched me so deeply and stirred up some dreams and passions and desires. Shortly: Those things that have become normal.
I have already written a little bit about watching Slumdog Millionaire. That same week I watched Into the Wild. I had seen this movie before but it touched me again the same way. There are very rare movies where I have cried as much as this one. The same week I also read a couple of blogs and was just thinking about my life in general.
When I think about my life I don't want to be remembered for the things I owned or the positions I occupied or the carreer I have reached. I want to leave a legacy of love. I want to be remembered for the impact I had on people. That everywhere I go people will be encouraged by my actions and by my words. Life is not about positions but about relationships. First of all with Christ and then with people. I want people to associate words like Friendship, Family, Compassion, Love, Grace, Happiness with me.
I am not saying that owning things or having a nice home or car or clothes is bad. Not at all. I like to dress nicely and I love making a beautiful home but I will not allow these things to have too much priority in my life. Because life is about so much more. These things are good and needed and I definitely want to be able to reach out and be a blessing for other people also financially.

Another reason I believe Into the Wild touches me the way it does is that I don't want to be too comfortable in my life. I want to change and be refined constantly even if it hurts. Also what it does is stirr up my adventurous spirit. As a family we would not go on fancy vacations to 5 star hotels. We would go camping, driving to places or just staying at home doing day trips on our bikes or driving out to the lake.
I want to see the world, see God's beautiful creation and delight in it. I want to be captured by these moments in an adventure when you're just surrounded by beauty. I want to explore and discover and really see.

And so these things that have sort of become so normal were reignited and the passion and the fire started to burn again.
It leaves me now at this place of having to make a decision. It leaves me still dreaming about a couple of things. It gives me new direction and vision and I feel like I can see clearer, like that polaroid picture of my future has developed just a little bit more.




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